Friday, May 26, 2006

let's go.

Japanese Sticker Photo Booth, Wishbone on Irving Street, San Francisco, California, 2001 (booth no longer there).

I know that I talk about PickleBoy quite a bit here. It makes sense to me because he is basically the Center of the Universe and all, but just to me. But, alas, Photobooth Friday has arrived again and he is in nearly all of my photobooth pictures. This because he has been my constant sidekick.

It has been just the two of us for over eight years now. I sincerely have no regrets but I do feel the tides turning for both of us. He is becoming so much more independent - getting himself off to school, girls starting to call, sleepover camp for the first time this Summer.

And as for me? Well, I have carried anger for a long, long time. It has been an anger of protection and dismay. I have been angry for these years at a man who I chose. Angry at him for not being what I needed when I could not even identify it myself - for something I needed before he ever appeared. When what I needed all along was love for my self.

So it is time for me to let my own tides turn. To accept that I am the one who has been getting in my way all along.

Time to make room for a grand happiness to come my way.

To stop worrying so much about every little thing that I have no control over and start enjoying this rollercoaster of life, oh, so much more.

Time to let go of the safety bar and lift my arms defiantly over my head and up towards the sky, laughing and screaming with happy tears streaming down my cheeks, enjoying the wind whipping my hair straight back as I take these wild curvy turns and loop-d-loops.

It seems that the seat next to me is vacant. Would you care to join me?


Blogger deb said...

I read posie's blog too and would love love love your pasta recipe. sounds yummy. :)

i love your blog too! will have to check in again. :)

10:43 AM  
Blogger Nessie Noodle said...

Lift those arms up girl and SCREAM as the roller coaster of life takes you on the ride...

(I can't see your pictures today- damn firewall at work!) But I am imagining, and that is good too...

thanks for all the well wishes, and for continuing to visit my little space on the web~

12:30 PM  
Blogger Teri M. said...

Wow - I really need to start writing myself notes. Decided to link you then come back to comment and I almost forgot to come back!

This was SUCH a lovely post.

12:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

life is hard.. you are figuring it out.. you should be proud of you me

2:45 PM  
Blogger madness rivera said...

Girl, I'm already sitting in that seat with you.

It's brave what you're doing, y'know? It's not easy to let go of something you've had (justifiably) with you for so long. But it's good to realize that it doesn't help. And it's only fair that you enjoy life too. It sounds like you've built a good life for you son. And there's nothing wrong with wanting that for mommy too.

6:04 PM  
Blogger andrea said...

love the sticker booths, so much fun. if you can't get to an old skool style booth, this is the next best thing.

I love the image of letting go of the safety bar and lifting arms defiantly in the air, I love that. go ahead and do it, I'm with you. good for you, working to let go of that anger. it's not an easy thing to do. behind you all the way, my friend.


7:12 AM  
Blogger lovegreendog said...

"getting in our own way" yes, this maybe the definition of many problems, i'd like a seat please.

7:19 AM  
Blogger SUEB0B said...


3:49 PM  

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