I mentioned that it would be quiet at the blog this month. These four weeks have been so difficult yet cathartic at the same time. You see, I hold the belief that we earn our happiness - not the surface/momentary kind that is more easily achievable but the deep and abiding kind. I also believe that the most gratifying and authentic path is rarely the easiest one. The reasons for this most recent soul journey are many. Some too private to share, some too exciting not to.

I will skip past the private pain part and straight to the exciting bits. I have been toying with the idea of getting more serious about my photography for some time. I am at a turning point in my current (unsatisfying) career and feel that the last year of my thirties is as good as any to pursue a path that brings me joy. I have gained more and more encouragement from those around me. These individuals happen to be in positions to help me achieve my goals and believed in me - before even I did.

This month the most fortuitous things happened...

• One of my photos won a prize in the World TtV Day competition with a second taking an honorable mention.
• A different one of my photos was included in this project and will eventually be published in a book.
• I have been approached to shoot stills for a group of fine art pieces (a paid job!).
• And these cards were printed (to be fair, this did happen in December)

Individually, these things are small nods and compliments but the accumulative effect combined with the timing has been astounding to me. It helped me to actually see myself as an artist. The vision is perfectly clear for the first time. The difference between the do-ers and the non-do-ers boils down to conviction and courage. Throw in a smidge of talent and why not just do it? Why not indeed. So, although I feel there is more plan formulating to be done before I take the big leap, I have decided to throw myself wholeheartedly at a new life. I am scared but I am so damn relieved at the same time. Relieved to have found the me I am meant to be and to have found the courage to be it.

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4/4 - edited to add: used this tool to alter the image.

...in a dive bar.
That should be the name of a band.
And their t-shirts could say
'DB in a DB'
I should get paid for this stuff.
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The Makeout Room, 22nd Street, San Francisco, California.

This is one of a series of six images that became a set of notecards.
This project was a result of a collaboration between myself and my friend
Belinda, Graphic Designer/Creative Director Extraordinaire.
She used them as promo-slash-thankyou gifts for her clients.
Here is a link to what I consider to be the best thirteen images from the series.
(The first six being the ones that made the cut for printing.)
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All images from this job taken with a Nikon D50 'through the viewfinder' of my Kodak Duaflex II.

...Manhattan.
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At the infamous Aub Zam Zam - read that first review for the bar's history!
Haight Street, San Francisco, California.

Bekka's post earlier this week about mantels inspired me to take this photo. My original thought was to post this as a simple response to her query - 'what does yours look like?' But, then, as I studied this image so I could explain it to you, it struck me how much meaning there is in each individual piece sitting on this simple slab of painted wood. I have never before considered that my mantel is really an accidental altar (the intentional altar being in my bedroom). Do you think that is how the practice of including a mantel above the hearth began in the first place? Rooted in an 'offerings to the fire god(dess)' tradition?

Here, by way of explanation, are the pieces I have chosen to include on mine (remember that you can always click on a photo to enlarge on this blog):

• The tall clear glass candle sticks were from the very sad closing sale of the best home store I have ever known. I do not remember the name but it was on Fillmore in SF and there is a Shabby Chic there now :(
• The three cut-out white ceramic votive holders are a gift from my dear friend Beth and she found them at Anthropologie. I love the shapes of light that they cast.
• Between them are two white glass votive holders - my first purchase from the Anthropologie that opened last Fall - it is five minutes from my house (five minutes people).
  
• My Sister gave me the beautiful vase for my birthday and I gathered the dried twigs that reach all the way to the ceiling on a peaceful nature walk.
• I made the lamp shades from organic wool felt and scraps of Japanese cotton.
• One of my favorite incense sticks is burning. I buy it from a tiny incense shop in Japantown and cannot read the name or I would tell you. I will say that the subtlety of nearly every incense from Japan appeals to me greatly. Scent has the power to shift my moods. I light it a lot.
  
• The large piece of art is an original pastel by Raul Gomez that is so generously on loan from my friend Paula. She represents artists from her home country, Argentina, here in the States. She knew how much I loved this piece and thought it more appropriately displayed with me than in a stack against a wall somewhere. I cannot tell you how much I cherish it.
• And then, the small framed piece is the one Adam made for me and gave to me on Valentine's Day. You cannot see the detail but it is a delicate handmade print of a rose and it is so very important to me.

Gifts from sacred friends. Different forms and ways to give off and reflect light. Some branches and tiny tendrils of scented smoke that reach for the sky...an altar indeed.

Latin market on Mission, San Francisco, California - March 2007.

award-winning organic cheese curing at Cowgirl Creamery, Pt. Reyes Station, California
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What a magical day we had.
If you ever get the opportunity to visit this enchanting town and the surrounding beauty, take it.
Lucky, lucky me because I really do live in - and am surrounded by - paradise.

___________________________

I have been experimenting again. This 'TtV' image was shot through the viewfinder of my Holga instead of my Kodak Duaflex II. I have been so focused (har, har) on my duaflex that I have neglected all the other little viewfinders in my world. I feel a tad guilty admitting that I may like this effect even better than my earlier attempts.

Now I will ask you - and be honest - do you like one style better than the other?

"May you dream you are dreaming, in a warm soft bed
And may the voices inside you that fill you with dread
Make the sound of thousands of angels instead
Tonight where you might be laying your head"

- Patty Griffin

Crunchy Corned Beef

For boiling:
2 bottles medium-body beer
4 bay leaves
4 whole dried red chilies
3 cinnamon sticks
12 peppercorns
3 cloves garlic
1 large onion
Add all ingredients above to large pot, add water to cover and boil the corned beef for 3 1/2 to 4 hours.

For grilling (or broiling):
When done, rub the following mixture over the entire corned beef while still hot:
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. ground clove
1/2 tsp. ginger (from spice jar - not fresh)
1/2 tsp. dry mustard
1/4 tsp. celery seed
1/4 tsp. caraway seed
Place the meat on a hot grill (or under hot broiler) and cook until the coating is very crunchy on both sides. Slice and serve warm with...

Fixings:
I ladle out (and strain) a good portion of the broth into another pot about thirty minutes before grilling and boil small red potatoes (skin on), large quartered onions and wedges of cabbage (last ten minutes) to go along side. Put a loaf of sliced onion rye and some butter on the table and you are good to go. OH - and don't forget the beer - nice and icy cold.

Saturday, February 17th was World 'Through the Viewfinder' Day and these are the two shots of which I am most proud. You can see the rest of my set here if you'd like. They were all taken at Tennessee Valley in the Marin Headlands of Northern California. The gentle hike winds through the hills and drops you out onto a magical pebbley beach. I am so blessed to live a few short miles from there.

The day could not have been more perfect.

_____________________
Taken on this adventure.

It was good for me to read that post again.
Really good.

stinson beach, ca - february 2007

A respite of sorts. No music. No self portraits. No photobooths.

This month will be quiet. With photos I am proud of. Images of places and things, a few words scattered here and there, hopefully some peaceful beauty.

Please do enjoy...

One of the greatest surprises (and joys) of blogging for me is the connection. People from anywhere on the planet can find you, have some little thing about you that resonates for them, and then take the risk of letting you know. The happy accident when it is reciprocal is so very satisfying. And then it might go so far as sending an actual gift to someone whose voice you've never heard, someone that you have never shared a table with.

Nessie Noodle made this apron and sent it to me. It is reversible and made from yummy orange Hawaiian fabric on one side, a vintage pink and white stripe pillowcase on the other. It has a cool, weighty drapiness to it and it is happy, happy, happy. But - oh no - that wasn't enough for her. She also included a fabulous mix cd and a repurposed handmade card thanking me. Yes, for sending her this, but also for my words, photos, musical taste.

This really is one lovely world that we live in. All you have to do is reach out and connect...

Thank you so so so much Vanessa.