I mentioned that it would be quiet at the blog this month. These four weeks have been so difficult yet cathartic at the same time. You see, I hold the belief that we earn our happiness - not the surface/momentary kind that is more easily achievable but the deep and abiding kind. I also believe that the most gratifying and authentic path is rarely the easiest one. The reasons for this most recent soul journey are many. Some too private to share, some too exciting not to.

I will skip past the private pain part and straight to the exciting bits. I have been toying with the idea of getting more serious about my photography for some time. I am at a turning point in my current (unsatisfying) career and feel that the last year of my thirties is as good as any to pursue a path that brings me joy. I have gained more and more encouragement from those around me. These individuals happen to be in positions to help me achieve my goals and believed in me - before even I did.

This month the most fortuitous things happened...

• One of my photos won a prize in the World TtV Day competition with a second taking an honorable mention.
• A different one of my photos was included in this project and will eventually be published in a book.
• I have been approached to shoot stills for a group of fine art pieces (a paid job!).
• And these cards were printed (to be fair, this did happen in December)

Individually, these things are small nods and compliments but the accumulative effect combined with the timing has been astounding to me. It helped me to actually see myself as an artist. The vision is perfectly clear for the first time. The difference between the do-ers and the non-do-ers boils down to conviction and courage. Throw in a smidge of talent and why not just do it? Why not indeed. So, although I feel there is more plan formulating to be done before I take the big leap, I have decided to throw myself wholeheartedly at a new life. I am scared but I am so damn relieved at the same time. Relieved to have found the me I am meant to be and to have found the courage to be it.

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4/4 - edited to add: used this tool to alter the image.